Love me or leave me D'rian, iso Iirla

[jillianna]

D'rian hadnt believed his eyes as the moonlit flight over the beach turned into a nightmare for him. He saw a couple no the sand and immediately thought of Iirla. He'd love to be standing on the beach with her, but he knew she was probably asleep still. Kelath's sharp intake of breath and his hiss was what got his attention.

Through their link he saw through his partner's eyes. His riding leathers held in ever tightening fists. The couple he'd not been able to make, was Iirla and V'lkan. She was kissing him. and it was She that kissed the boy. He saw that much.

Kelath's roar was one of rage at His D'rian's pain. If not for his rider's tight grip and the strong order to do nothing, he would have happily landed and shredded not only the boy, but Izanycorth's as well. He would do a lot of things for his golden love, but let hers rip apart His's fledgeling heart was not anywhere near the list.

D'rian clamped his emotions down to the dull flat emptiness that Kelath had perfected before he gave in to izanycorth's begging for him to come back to her. He and his dragon went straight to their weyr. Kelath was given a sharp order not to do anything but wait for him to come back. Hisame snapped alert with a hiss when she felt the underlying rage coming from hers and the large bronze.

She wanted to go too, but again. he commanded her as well into stillness. There she huffed and sat on kelath's back, pouting. She loved hers. Why didnt he see that she was all he needed?

D'rian went to the door to her weyr. And waited.

[Zara]

Izanycorth crooned to Kelath. She loved her Kelath. Hers was beign a fool to think she could love another. She was angry at her too. she was very angry at her, indeed. Come back to the weyr now She hissed and stood, her tail flicking in irritation. What do you think you were doing with him!

Oh boy... she was in trouble, but she didn't know just how much trouble she woudl be in until she came to her own doorway. "D'rian..." she said, her voice sounding... surprised. "What are you doing up....?"

She really didn't know what to say for herself. She wasn't even aware that D'rian ahd seen her kiss Vl'kan... or seen them together at all. She didn't realize he was going to be mad, but his face showed it all. He was... "Wh-What's worng D'rian...?" she said softly, scared. He had found out. Oh by Faranth. HE had seen her... before she had ever meant for him to... She was... supposed to tell him, right.

But... But... She bit her lip and stood there, defenseless, vulnerable.... and ready for whatever came her way... Whether he yelled at her, hit her, raged at her... He was angry...

[jillianna]

"What am I doing up? Well Kelath and I were going to invite you out for a flight Love. Only Kelath said Izanycorth was asleep. It was a nice flight. You should have been there. A wonderful view of the beach in the moonlight tonight. You'll never guess what I saw..."

During his speech one would have thought she was talking to the brownrider, G'lwein rather than the funloving bronze rider. The voice was cold. Calm. Devoid of any human emotion. His eyes were dark. Flat as he pushed himself away from the wall standing straight, tall, and proud.

He walked close to her, stopping inches away, his voice lower. "Were you even going to tell me? Or was i just another poor fool like s'bel telling myself that you really loved me? Was I a fool in pouring my all into loving and caring for you?" His face didnt change even though it felt like every word was a lash across his back. She didn't even think enough of him as a friend to tell him she had any feelings for the garnet rider whatsoever. Much less as a partner.

[Zara]

"Yes... I was going to tell you... Only... Only I didn't even know it myself until tonight, D'rian. We met by chance... I was just going for a walk on the beach because Iz was asleep... and he was just there... And... we started talking and... well... Um..." She turned a shade of red and sank down against the wall. "I don't want to hurt you. I really don't."

He was amazing and sweet and just plain incredible. She loved him, yes...? But why was it that she loved Vl'kan too. He had done so much for her while Vl'kan had lingered in the shadows, but there were reasons, right? Oh Faranth. "Oh Faranth... Faranth... Faranth," she covered her face with her hands as the tears threatened her again. She expected no comfort from D'rian. She expected him to hate her now. She wished they were one person. How could one woman love to people. Two men... Where was Yufa when she needed a friend to talk to... To sort everything out.

"I... What do you want to hear me say, D'rian... That I love him and I'm leaving you for him or that I made a mistake and I love you and I'll never see him again because honestly, I don't know what I want to hear myself say." She shook her head, looking down at the ground. Her clothing was still mostly soaked and her feet were dirty from the wet sand. "I'm sorry, alright... I don't want to hurt you. I care about you. I... love you D'rian, I really do..." but she didn't add the part that came to mind but... I don't know if I love you in such a way as to one day be your weyrmate... but... Vl'kan has been part of my dreams since long before you and I were even friends It was a thought that tugged at her mind. But could she dismiss it. Was she doing what was expecting again.

Faranth! She hoped Vl'kan was not nearby. She hoped he would not walk in on this. He was only down the hall from her after all... Faranth help her... help them all.

[jillianna]

His eyes flicked to the floor. It hurt just looking at her. The woman he'd changed himself for. The one he tamed himself for. He didnt know why it had been such a shock. To his more rational mind it made sense. Her emotions were fleeting at best. she'd been so wrapped up in s'bel before him. now she went from him to V'lkan like it was nothing. She felt nothing for him. She loved him? His mental laugh was harsh and cold.

"'Tis a little late for that, my 'love'. I'd like to hear the truth. But then you can't ever decide what you want can you? " The slightest inflection was all he dared let show as she sagged against the wall. In his crushed state he really didnt believe a word she was saying to him right now, but he wouldn't attack her. He just wouldn't stay somewhere he was not wanted.

He went over to her, pressed a quick, not so sweet kiss to her forehead, and backed up several paces.

"I've only ever wanted you to be happy. I thought i could be that for you but apparently I was wrong. No matter how much you pray to Franath she wont tell you what to choose. It is your choice, and yours alone Iirla. Have a good life. Be safe... Be happy."

He didnt want to leave. he had friends here. Lene. His facade cracked a little as her face swam in front of him. She'd never forgive him for this. Leaving and not telling her, or talking to her first... G'lwein... Glwein would know how to get away for a while. A long while.

Turning without a second glance at the one he loved, even after seeing her with another man, he walked away from her. Dignifiedly back to his own weyr, and to the suprise of his flits, began packing his things. He hoped she would come after him, but he doubted it. She didn't love him. He knew that now. He wouldn't just stand by and watch as V'lkan got all that he'd once thought he would have, and have the happiness he'd once craved for himself.

[Zara]

She felt all the air rush out of her lungs. "D'rian..." She watched him go for a moment, but then stood swiftly. No! No! He was not leaving! And he was not leaving her! She ran, barefoot as she still was, to his weyr, not caring if she upset his flitts or she upset his things... or him. No. She was not going to let him leave her. She needed him. She knew she needed him. Now things were complicated. Now she couldn't claim a relationship. Maybe it was better not to. Oh Vl'kan would hate her for this, but she wouldn't have D'rian, her precious D'rian hate her too. He couldn't leave. He simply couldn't. She wouldn't let him. no! She had screwed up.

She didn't even stopped as she ran right into him, her arms wrapping around him in a fierce embrace. "Do you really think that you are just going to leave?" she growled at him angrily. "I screwed up, alright! You say I don't love you! That's where you're wrong! That's where you became the fool!" She didn't care if he did try to push her away or anything of that sort, she kissed him fiercely. "I love you. I trust you! Do you think I would run in here and tackle you if I didn't? Do you think that I would try to stop you if I didn't! Yes, I have feelings for Vl'kan. Yes that is confusing. But what makes you think for a minute that I don't love you?" She clung to him as if for dear life. As if he was the one thing that could save her. "My love. Because that is what you are."

Izanycorth seemed to be rather pleased that hers was trying to make up with Kelath's but she was still angry at Her's betrayal.

"You poured out so much for me. And.... I want you to be angry with me. I want you to yell and scream and tell me I screwed up. Why do you have to be so intent on letting me go? What makes you think you can't be my happiness?" She was crying now earnestly. Oh... she was making such big mistakes... now what. She had just confessed her love to Vl'kan... and yet... here she was. Oh... how UTTERLY STUPID was she.

[jillianna]

D'rian would have pushed her away as gently as he could. He wasn't angry. Just hurt. A fact his hi same didnt like one little bit. The flit tried launching herself at the other ametrine's but luckily d'rian was getting used to her temper by now. Reaching up he plucked her from the air and held her tightly.

"NO. Hisame, you must not hurt people!". After a moment the large ametrine's quieted. He could feel the emotions roiling off of her. Worry for himself, hatred over this one, and anger. So much anger. Not to mention the fact that Kelath on his shelf was doing a remarkable job of controlling himself. Hisame still hissed at the girl but she flew back over to her big bronze and growled from her seat against his chest.

"Iirla...". Was all he could get out before she kissed him. It was full of grief angxiety and tears. It also took all of his self control not to cradle her to him and gentle her kiss and let her know with everything in him it would be alright. When her kiss broke he stood there calmly and waited for her to finish saying what she felt she had to to keep him at the weyr.

" why do I have to be intent on letting you go? Iirla. The others may not care what this is doing to you but I do. I do love you and you have no idea how much I want to go run v'lkan through right now. But I'm better than that. You say you love me Iirla. "

He picked up a clean handkerchief from his bag and gently dried her eyes wrapping his arms around her and doing his best to comfort her. His smile was sad and he rested his cheek against her hair using the movement to hide the single tear that slipped down his own cheek.

" If it was the kind of love I wanted from you, we would never be having this discussion. It's not like I'm leaving indefinitely. I just am not going to sit here and watch you with him. Don't ask me to be that strong... "

[Zara]

She couldn't help her tears. "You always knew, though... didn't you...?" her voice was soft and almost accusing. "D'rian... I do love you... but... not the same as... you love me... I just... I don't want you to leave."

"What would you rather I have told you... the absolute truth... I've already hurt him, I know it... He heard everything, I'm sure... and I don't want to hurt you any more... D'rian... you've been my best friend and my comforter and my... my safety for so long."

She had hurt him so much. "I'm sorry, D'rian... I'm so sorry... I just didn't want you to leave or be hurt... I'm so sorry..." She felt the sob rack her body. "Promise, though... you'll come back... eventually...?"

She looked over his shoulder to Kelath. "Izanycorth isn't going to be happy that he is leaving her here on her own... She really really loves him, you know."

She could here the soft keen of her dragon from her ledge nearby, as if in confirmation. "Now what...?" was all that she asked quietly. She should go to Vl'kan... go and try to explain herself... Make things right... Oh... Vl'kan...

[jillianna]

" oh sweeting. The only thing I've ever wanted was the truth. You used to only tell me the truth, ya know? So when you decided you'd be with me and told me you loved me... I guess my own feelings filled in the blanks." his sigh was heavy and he dropped a soft kiss on her cheek. " you needn't worry so much about me. Kelath. Th little ones and I will be just fine.

If you think that princeling can handle me still being your best friend, and safety, then... Wellno. Even then he'll just have to suck it the hell up and deal with it or I really think I will punch him. ". It was him who was not being honest now. He wanted to rant and say that never seeing her again would be the only possible way the pain would stop. But that wasn't something he could ever bring himself to say to her. Not even after ahe'd told him that she loved him to keep him here when that had been a lie.

"it's not like you're getting rid of me forever you silly girl. Leaning down he rested his forehead against hers lightly looking into her eyes. " I was going to tell you I was leaving tomorrow. G'lwein left someone back at southern and he thinks she'd be a great help to us here with all the new colors and everything we seem to be getting, I was going to turn him down if you didn't want me to go, but it seems this would be a good time to go after all. It should only be for a week or two at the most. " you'll still have 'lene to keep you company while I'm gone. I'm not telling her since this one's all your decision... I wish you all the best of luck breaking this news And just try to remember to duck. She slaps like my old man punched...". He gave her a smile that was an almost perfect mask.

" they should spend some time together before we leave...". She asked what now? He sighed and gave her one more hug before setting her firmly but gently away from him. " now, if you really do love him, you need to go try to explain things and get him to stop being a mopey girl... " he grumbled the last words good naturedly. " just cause you love him doesn't mean I gotta like him..." Kelath rumbled a discontented growl at how easy his was being with her, but stood when izanycorth's keen reached his ears. Without a word to him or the little ones he left to go to her.

[Zara]

"Of course I'm going to worry about you, D'rian. You can't ask me not to." She looked at him with a frown.

"We'll see I guess... He isn't your biggest fan..." She sighed and looked down at the floor, trying to hide her own tears. "I wish I had loved you as much as you loved me, D'rian... I truly wish... that it were so..." She looked at him seriously. "D'rian... you are a very good man... but... I don't think we are right for each other. But... I'm sure there is someone for you. I'm positive of it... someone who is so much better than me."

"I'll keep that in mind... I was going to tell you in the morning, you know... but... you were already waiting for me... I hope this person really can help..."

Izanycorth was waiting for her bronze when he arrived. Just because Ours do not love each other, my dearest Kelath, does not mean that I don't love you... I love you more than any other. her words were soft and plaintive as she stretched her her neck out to nuzzle him gently.

"Well... I don't think I could expect you too." She was still crying and, with that, she wrapped gave him a weak smile and turned, walking from the room, slowly at first, but once she was out of his site, she went at a dead run for Vl'kan's room...